Breaking Up is Hard to Do
It has been said that one of the unintended consequences of the internet and social networking sites is that we are actually lonelier. Instead of bringing us together and allowing us to communicate with more people, the technology isolates us and replaces real friendships with “friends” on Facebook.
I suppose then that it should be no surprise that now someone has come up with a website called idump4u.com where for a small fee ranging from $10 to dumb a boyfriend or girlfriend to $50 to announce a divorce, “Bradley” will call the dumpee up and inform them not only that they are being dumped but why. After all, why get personal during your break up when most of your relationship was probably conducted by text messages and facebook postings?
According to the website it is all for altruistic reasons: if you don’t tell your ex why you are dumping them they are just going to get keeping dumped by their next significant other. Bradley calls it a sort of “pay it forward” civic duty: you are actually helping their net girl or boyfriend enjoy a better relationship.
And in keeping with this altruistic vein, the website records the calls and then posts them on their website and on Youtube. This is so the public can also experience the joy of listening in on what should be a private and tactful conversation. The fact that the traffic to the site may also generate some ad revenue is I am sure incidental.
I found this site by following a link from, I think, Reddit. I have to admit that I was intrigued by the concept of being able to pay someone to do the breaking up for you. After all, who really enjoys the unpleasant and awkward conversation. Do you use cliches such as “it’s not me, it’s you” or “Let’s be friends.” Or do you vent and tell your former love exactly why you can’t stand them any more? The options and dilemmas are endless. Paul Simon was being conservative when he sang that there were 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Now there are at least 51.
Breaking up is especially hard when the dumpee doesn’t see it coming and then you have to deal with denial, shock, crying etc.
So I suppose that this site might actually serve a positive social need. After all if you need out of a relationship but are too cowardly to do the work yourself, should your lack of backbone condemn you to an unhappy life?
But what is wrong about this site is that they then post the audio tapes of their conversations with the dumpee. I have to confess that to my shame and discredit I listened to some of them and they were quite painful to listen to. Whatever the dumpee had done to deserve to be dumped, did they deserve to be told by a complete stranger that they had until the end of the month to move out, or that their cellphone was going to be cut off after “Bradley” had finished dumping them, or that they were too stupid to be in a relationship with?
I listened to a few segments of the calls just to determine if these were actors. Unfortunately the calls sounded genuine, so if this site is successful it means that there are a lot of people who get a kick from listening to a person go through one of the most painful episodes of their lives.
It is a sad reflection on the internet culture that there probably is a huge public for this sort of thing, and I would not be surprised if some copycat sites pop up. The Germans had a word for this long before the internet: Schadenfreude which is loosely translated as “delighting in others’ misfortune.”
Perhaps we should take counsel from this wisdom from the Book of Proverbs:
“Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.” (Proverbs 24:17–18, King James Version).
Marry A Robot
A sad misguided South Korean man has married his beloved pillow case which has the image of his favourite anime girl on it. He actually hired a priest to perform the ceremony, invited guests, and had pictures taken. Friends are quoted as saying that he takes his pillow girlfriend, now wife, everywhere. Why doesn’t someone help this man?
Sadly, this is part of a larger phenomenon of marrying inanimate objects and nonhuman things. In 2008 a German married his pineapple named Tippi. And of course who can forget the man who married his video game girlfriend.
While we may consider these people’s infatuation with something that does not exist as funny it points to a blurring between what is real and what is not. As we spend more and more of our lives in the virtual world, we begin to lose touch with what is real. For example, a couple apparently had a real life divorce when one caught the other “cheating” with a virtual character on Second Life. It’s not real, people!
Of course this means that once technology perfects sexbots and other companion type robots, there will be no shortage of people wanting to marry their robot partner. We are doomed.
Hitler and his crazed henchmen plunged the world into a nightmare of war and genocide. They came very close to total world domination and would have plunged the world into a new dark age. If there was ever a just war, the fight against the Nazis was certainly it.
Now, only 65 years after the megalomaniac dictator and his mistress killed themselves in a Berlin bunker, much to the dismay of his victims who would have loved to put him on trial and hang him, Hitler has become a sort of harmless mascot, lending his name and image to a number of bistros and restaurants throughout India and Asia. Names of these misguided enterprises include: Adolf Hitler Techno Bar and Grill in Pusan, Korea (because nothing says techno like a genocidal bastard like Hitler), the Modern Hitler Bar (also in Korea), or the restaurant called Hitler’s Cross in Mumbai, India, whose owner swears is not in bad taste.
North Korea at Night: the dark part in the north is North Korea, the lighted south is the more developed south Korea.
The half starved, impoverished nation of North Korea with ambitions of world domination and delusions of racial superiority, has come up with a clever way of explaining the food aid that it receives from the United States without losing face with its slaves/subjects: it tells its people that the sacks of rice, which are printed with the Stars and Stripes, are actually tribute paid to it by the quaking-in-its-boots United States. And these people have the Bomb. God help us.
This is Not a Head Hunter
One of the best things about the internet is that it makes it possible for people to connect with other people who share their interests. One of the worst things about the internet is that it makes it possible for people to connect with other people who share their interests. If your interests include collecting shrunken human heads, this site is for you.
Ironic
Ironic: A Swedish website reports that the floor collapsed during a Weight Watcher’s meeting. A group of 20 participants had gathered to see how much weight they had lost. Apparently not enough because the floor gave way under them.
Politically Correct
A British newspaper reports that a woman who wished to place an ad seeking “hard working” and “reliable” workers was prevented from doing so by a job search office because they claimed that the requirement would discriminate against “unreliable” workers.
I was going to make a witty comment but the story is its own punchline.
Everybody’s holidays are a nuisance, except one’s own. — Timothy Haas
The Monkeys Strike Back
India is apparently a hotbed of Monkey insurrection. Reports on the news wires tell of increasingly violent monkey unrest. In New Delhi, Deputy Mayor S.S. Bajwa was attacked and killed in his home by a monkey. Then, last week, a monkey went on a rampage in a nature park near the city. Indian newspapers report that the monkey injured 25 people and tried to drag off some children for some unknown nefarious monkey purpose. I am not making this up.
Apparently the monkey insurrection has been going on for quite some time. Here is an extract from a book called India and the Indians written in 1911:
“Monkeys have become lawless citizens of Delhi, and will no doubt greatly welcome the enlarged scope for mischief which the new city will open out to them. They travel in troops over the flat roofs, and are very bold and mischievous, and great thieves. But monkeys must be studied in their wild freedom in the woods to appreciate them. When seen leaping from tree to tree with refreshing elasticity, or from rock to rock in the open country, their spirit of fun and mischief having full scope, the sight is a delightful one. They stick very closely to their own districts, although now and then a solitary monkey will detach himself from the rest and search for pastures new.”
I will continue to monitor the news wires for more reports of monkey rampages. I suspect that the true magnitude of the problem is not being reported so as not to cause panic. Planet of the Apes was a documentary!
If you are wondering what the purpose of this site is, there really isn’t one yet. I bought this domain name because I thought it had a funny ring to it and might be a good web address for a game or humor site one day. But in the meantime, I am just parking it. Instead of placing one of those annoying paid search holding pages I decided to insert a little bit of rampaging monkey content. Thanks for stopping by!
